Love is a choice. It’s ours for the taking. We just have to say yes. Obviously, easier said than done. In true yin and yang fashion, with love comes its polar opposites: doubt, fear, insecurity, just to name a few. Since we all start as love, how is it we veer so far off the path and end up traveling down less desirable roads?
Somewhere along the way we were introduced to love’s adversaries. We started doubting love and believing the stories we tell ourselves, or stories others tell us that are fueled by their doubts, fears and insecurities. And wouldn’t you believe it, those versions seem to be easier to buy into than the truth.
Thankfully, love never really leaves, it’s just buried down deep inside us, patiently waiting to be rediscovered. We just have to believe, not only that love exists, but that we are worthy and deserve to have it. Unfortunately, love’s persistent foe have a very strong will and won’t let you go that easy. They’re tricky little buggers. They’ll manipulate and lie to get you to stay. They’ll have you believing their deceitfulness, but love is always there, waiting for you to give it a chance.
Doubt says, “I won’t get that job. Why would they hire me? There is someone more qualified that I am.” Love says, “You’ve earned this job. You’re passionate about it. There is no one else like you. You can bring something unique to the team that no one else can.”
Fear says, “He will cheat on me, I know he will. Why wouldn’t he? Look at me, I need to lose 10 pounds. I hate my hair and there are way better looking girls out there.” Love says, “I am me. I am proud of my curves. I am a good, kind person, I deserve to be loved for who I am. I love who I am.”
Insecurity says, “I like to dance, but I don’t have any training. I am such an idiot for wanting to try out for the team. They probably won’t choose me anyway. I just won’t go. It’s a waste of time.” Love says, “You never know what they are looking for. I really enjoy dancing and I have to start somewhere. I will go and I will do my best. I won’t know for sure unless I try!.”
Both are talking to you, it just depends on who you choose to listen to.
When you choose love, you choose you. You’re opting for opportunities, not closed doors. You’re accepting the journey. You’re saying yes to chance. You have faith in you, and even if it doesn’t turn out the way you thought or hoped it would, that’s ok because you learned something from it and continued to move forward.
Doubt, fear and insecurity will always be there. Much like love, they are lingering, waiting for you to choose them. The funny thing is, if you choose love, you can’t go wrong. Sure, you might feel disappointed or unhappy with the path love takes you, but there is always a lesson. Love makes sure you are well taken care of.
Sometimes, the hardest lessons to learn are the most valuable. Our natural instinct is to avoid the things that make us uncomfortable or scare us. But, there is no living in hiding. There is no pleasure in playing it safe. Say yes. Take a chance. You deserve it. Choose love.
Self-Love Warrior Ally Perkins